the fool
yearly goals in review
I revisited the goals I wrote in my planner at the beginning of the 2023 New Year. I only wrote one: Realize a life with Jeff.
It was the wish in the deepest part of my heart, the kind that’s scary to say to yourself, let alone the world. I thought that finally admitting it to myself was the first step to making it happen. And I actually had faith then that we’d figure it out, that love would be a beacon through a messy situation. I was both incredibly scared and incredibly optimistic about having a life with you.
I was a fool, wasn’t I? (And probably still am.)
In Tarot, every story, every journey starts with the Fool. She embodies the adventurous spirit at the risk of peril. You abandoned the journey. But I don’t think I can go back to where I was. My heart was already committed to making the leap. So even though you aren’t with me and the destination’s no longer clear, I don’t feel I have a choice but to keep going and see where this path leads.